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本帖最后由 flypigbaby 于 2009-3-16 13:24 编辑
讲得是他认为MJ在演唱会上应该要做的和一定不要做的几件事。他是用调侃的语气写的，我觉得很搞笑。不过有几条我也蛮有同感的~
可能有些粉丝看到了会不高兴，不过不要介意啦，只是一个玩笑！
An Open Letter to Michael Jackson: Do's & Don'ts for Comeback
Dear King of Pop,
Jackson, you're coming back! Forgive me if I'm a little cautious. I've been burned before (I'm still waiting on that Katrina benefit song). It's been a long time since you've given me something on which I can hang my '80s King of Pop hopes. Still, I can't wait to see you on the O2 stage in June. I'll be up front with my "Thriller" sun visor and leg warmers.
At 50 years old, you have a lot to overcome: rumored health issues, a cynical public who doubts whether you still have what it takes, and, most of all, your own demons. I know you can be your own worst enemy. Aren't we all? Plus, doing a moonwalk at 50 can't be easy.
Still, despite some questionable behavior, you have made some undeniable badass moves over the years -- and not just dance moves. Between Bubbles, Neverland, and the Elephant Man, you have been at the forefront of countless trends. As you prepare for your "This Is It" concert stand, I humbly offer a few do's and don'ts from your own HIStory. I hope you look at these pages from your past to remind you what has worked and what you should leave at home.
Good luck with rehearsals. See you in June. I hope. You'll be there, right?
Your number one fan,
Shawn
DO: BUST OUT THE "OFF THE WALL" TUX
Your late disco Rat Pack look was tight. It made you debonair while still retaining that dance-floor flair. Picture this: "An Evening with Michael Jackson," with you taking the stage in a tux. You sit down next to a pianist and do a Tony Bennett version of "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough." With Sinatra gone, you could take his place as the great tuxedoed entertainer.
DO: WEAR THE GLOVE
It might clash with the tux, but who cares? The glove HAS to be there when you hit the stage. The glove is everything. Without it, it's like Superman minus his cape. George Jefferson without that crazy lopsided strut. Bring the glove and make sure it has lots of glitter.
DON'T: BRING ANY KIDS
This should go without saying, but just in case you've forgotten, I'll say it loud and clear: NO KIDS. Make the show 21 and over. Don't make any song dedications to the children of the world. Don't carry Webster in your arms. Don't bring a group of kids onstage to sing "We Are the World." No kids. Period.
DO: GET A CHIMP
Despite that horrible accident in Connecticut a few weeks back, chimps are back. In fact, this is one area where you were totally ahead of your time (well, you and the dude from "BJ and the Bear"). All those nights hitting the clubs with Bubbles were groundbreaking. A chimp is the perfect entourage. Just remember to dress him in cool clothes so he doesn't get ****ed. You don't want to **** off a chimp.
DO: GROW A 'FRO
You've had a lot of hairstyles over the years, but the '70s 'fro was hands-down the best. Everyone loves a 'fro. A 'fro brings instant soul cred. Plus, it doesn't catch fire like that Jheri curl did back in the Pepsi days. You should borrow Questlove's pick and stick it on top for an extra touch. In fact, get Questlove to play drums in the band, because two 'fros are better than one.
DON'T: WEAR YOUR JAMMIES
I think we both know the pajama look was not one of your finest moments. Glove? Cool. Flooded pants? Cool. Sgt. Pepper's-type jacket? Better than Coldplay's. Jammies? Lame. It's a concert, not a slumber party (see the "No Kids" rule). Dress for success, Michael. Remember, you billed this concert series as "This Is It." You want to go out looking like a king, not like you need a bedtime story.
DO: GET A POPULAR BABE TO SHOW UP WITH YOU
Let people say what they will about your sexuality, when you weren't running around with a chimp or a child actor, you used to show up with some hot chicks. Madonna, Brooke Shields, Lisa Marie Presley all hung on your arm at one time. Nothing says success like a having a beautiful woman by your side. Get yourself a hot date to take to your concert. My pick is Jennifer Aniston. She'd dump John Mayer in a minute to go out with you. You're the one dude who would make everyone stop asking about Brad Pitt for a while.
DON'T: WEAR SURGICAL GEAR
Ditch the mask. It'll make it hard for folks to understand the lyrics. Plus, it makes you look too much like that keyboard player in Prince's "1999" video. If you're worried about germs, just make everyone use hand sanitizer before they enter the arena. Or... make them wear surgical masks. It may deaden the screams a bit, but you'll rest easy after the show.
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好吧，我花了些时间翻译了一下，不过本人虽然E文尚可，但是语文极烂，翻译水平实在有限，有什么错误之处敬请指正，谢谢！
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亲爱的King of Pop,
杰克逊，你终于回来了！原谅我，如果我显得有点太谨慎的话。我以前曾被你放过鸽子（我到现在还在等那首卡特琳娜飓风的赈灾单曲）。你已经很久没有推出作品好让我重温80年代那个King of Pop的美梦了。但是，我还是迫不及待地想要在六月O2的舞台上见到你。我将会出现在前排，装备上我的"Thriller"遮阳板和暖腿套。在50岁这个年纪，你有许多困难要克服：关于健康问题的谣言，苛刻的公众质疑你是否还能东山再起，还有最重要的，就是你自己的坏习惯。我知道你最大的敌人就是你自己。我们其实都是自己最大的敌人，难道不是吗？此外，在50岁的年纪要做月球漫步可不是一件容易的事。不过，尽管你曾有过一些有争议的行为，但是不可否认你过去这么多年来创作了许多牛逼的动作--并不光光是舞步。除了Bubbles，Neverland和象人，你一直都处在潮流的前端。当你在为"This is it"演唱会做各种准备时，鉴于你个人之前的一些历史问题，我在此诚挚而恭敬地提出一些我自己关于你该做哪些事和不该做哪些事的建议。我希望你
能看到，并能对你有所帮助，提醒你哪些事应该在外面做，哪些事还是回家再做为好。
希望你彩排一切顺利。我们六月见。我希望如此。到时你会出现的，对吧？
你的天子第一号粉丝Shawn
应该做的事：穿上"OFF THE Wall"时期的无尾夜礼服
你以前在disco晚期的那身Rat Pack（注：鼠帮，60年代美国当红的爵士乐团，以西装+低松领带造型闻名）造型很棒。这个造型使你在跳舞的时候仍然显得非常温文尔雅。想象一下这样的画面：你穿着夜礼服上台，“和Michael Jackson共度美好的夜晚”。你坐在一架钢琴边，表演Tony Bennett（注：美国传奇歌手，被推崇为“娱乐界的最佳歌手”，美国乐坛尊称他是“歌手中的歌手”）版本的"Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough"。等Sinatra（注：外号“瘦皮猴”，在西洋流型乐坛甚具影响力的艺人，集歌手、演员、节目主持人和唱片公司老板等角色于一身）死了以后，你将会取代他成为最棒的礼服歌手。
应该做得事：戴上你的手套
手套可能会和夜礼服不太撘，但谁会在乎？只要你登上舞台，一定要带上那只手套。手套意味着一切。没有它，就像超人没有了斗篷，就像George Jefferson没有了那种疯狂的老歪向一边的步子。一定要戴上手套，而且一定要是那种闪闪发光的手套。
不应该做的事: 孩子
这个照理应该不用多说了，但是为了以防万一怕你忘记。我要大声清楚的说出来：不要孩子！确保只有21岁及以上的人才能来参加这个演唱会。不要表演任何献给孩子们的歌曲，不要在你的手臂上戴上布条。不要让一群孩子们跑到台上唱"We Are the Wrold"。不要孩子！不要！
应该做的事：带上黑猩猩
尽管在几个星期前康乃狄格发生了那件可怕的事故（注：一只宠物黑猩猩袭击了一名妇女），但是我还是希望能有黑猩猩出现在演唱会上。事实上，养黑猩猩宠物正是你领先时代潮流的标志之一。（好吧，其实还有那个主演"BJ and the Bear"的家伙（注："BJ and the Bear"是一部讲述黑猩猩的喜剧电影））。你以前带着泡泡去俱乐部的那些日子真的是太具有开创性了，酷毙了。黑猩猩真的是一个完美的伙伴。不过要记住给它换一身酷一点的衣服，这样它才不会显得太糟糕。你可不想让一只黑猩猩搞砸演出。
应该做的事:留非洲爆炸头
在过去这些年中，你有过很多发型，但是70年代的非洲爆炸头毫无疑问是最棒的。每个人都爱死它了。非洲爆炸头具有永恒的意义。此外，它也不会像稀松卷发那样在拍百事可乐广告时那么容易着火。你应该借鉴Questlove（注：Questlove是一个乐手，也留着爆炸头）的发型，并且一定要保持下去。事实上，你应该让Questlove来为你的乐队打鼓，因为两个爆炸头比一个好。
不应该做的事：穿睡衣出现
我想我们都知道睡衣并不是你最好的造型。手套？酷！挂满装饰的裤子？酷！Sgt. Pepper款的夹克？你穿的绝对比Coldplay好！睡衣？太逊了！这是表演，不是睡衣派对（参考“严禁小孩”那条建议）。记得一定要穿得棒一点，Michael。记住，你把这次的演唱会命名为"This is it"。你希望自己看起来像一个国王，而不是看起来想要来一个睡前故事。
应该做的事：带上一个当红的女伴
随便别人怎么说你的性取向，当你身边没有黑猩猩或童星的时候，你身边过去常常会一些辣妞陪着。麦当娜，波姬小丝，丽莎玛丽普莱斯利，她们以前都曾经挽着你的胳膊出现。没有什么比身边围绕着美女更能彰显一个男人的成功了。找一个辣妹陪你一起去演唱会。我认为詹妮弗安妮斯顿就很不错。她如果听说是要陪你去演唱会的话，会立马甩掉约翰梅尔（注：詹妮弗的男友，不过ms前两天刚分手）然后和你一起出去。你是唯一一个能让所有人都暂时不再谈论布拉德皮特的人。
不应该做得事：戴手术口罩
扔掉那个口罩。它只会让观众更难听懂歌词的意思。还有，它会让你看起来像是Prince在"1999"mtv里的那个键盘手。如果你担心细菌的话，那就让每个观众在进入演唱会场前都用消毒液洗干净手。或者……让观众戴上手术口罩。这可能会让现场的尖叫声有所减弱，但是你在表演完之后就能高枕无忧了。 |
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