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lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 00:56:37

Oprah talks to Lisa Marie Presley

For my exclusive interview with Lisa Marie Presley, we met in the English countryside, a world away from Los Angeles. Lisa is here working on her new album, and spending some quality time with her husband Michael Lockwood and their twin girls.

***

Oprah Winfrey: So, the last time we talked you didn’t have baby girls.

Lisa Marie Presley: Mm mmm.

OW: Your children were… you know, teenagers, now those teenage children are grown practically,

LMP: Mmm.

OW: Uh, Ben & Riley

Mm hmm.

OW: What’s that like, changing diapers fifteen years later?

LMP: I think now, when you’re… um, have children later, you… you are a lot more focused. And I know what’s going to happen. And I—

OW: You feel more confident?

LMP: I feel more confident and I feel more focused, and I wanna spend as much time with them, and I really… I don’t wanna lose any moments; I lost (clears throat) …when you’re young & scattered you tend to lose... you tend to lose moments that you don’t... you know, you don’t realize is gonna pass...

OW: Do you think that happened with Ben & Riley?

LMP: I do a little, I... I was never not around; they were always with me, but my attention was scattered and dispersed for various reasons.

OW: Yeah, cause you can be there and not be there.

LMP: Right.

OW: Yeah, you can be present but still not BE there.

LMP: Exactly.

OW: Yeah. Is being away, too, from L.A., um, good for the children? Because we had a conversation earlier this summer –Lisa & I went hiking this summer, that’s another story- Uh, we had a conversation earlier this summer where we were talking about how the, kinda the culture of who’s wearing what and how that... you know, transfers over to children...

LMP: Mm hmm.

OW: You felt?

LMP: Culture & lack thereof… I think what made me wanna remove myself was when I saw, uh, in a magazine, a weekly magazine it was a ‘who wore it best?’ between two three year olds. Okay. Okay, wow, they are definitely outta here.

OW: Yeah

LMP: You know?

OW: Its gone too far you think?

LMP: I think that I… some children won’t be able to have a life, uh, if it starts this young. I think that I kept my, Ben & Riley, I kept... and nobody even knew I had a son, and a lot of people didn’t even know I had a daughter until uh, a lot of, just,… they were never out there until they made the choice, um, to be out there is when they were known about and when they walked on their own. Um...

OW: Can you be as famous as your father was famous, as famous as your former husband Michael Jackson was famous, as famous as you’ve grown up to be, and be normal?

LMP: No. I can only answer for myself! I am not normal.

OW: And you’ve managed to be relatively very private, that’s why I’m thrilled that you’re talking to me today. You’ve made a conscious decision to talk now. Why?

LMP: Every time I’ve had an interview in the past I tend to get very defensive because I was usually promoting something and it would cross… it would always cross into my personal life and I tended to never wanna discuss the two, like, I don’t want ‘em to cross; I know that its hard to have ‘em not, but… I wanted to really sit & have a conversation about, uh, things that are… you know, more on a personal level, now, out of the way before I do have an album which I will sometime next year, cause…

OW: I get that.

LMP: You know?

OW: I get that. You didn’t want to be in the position of promoting an album and having people ask you about Michael Jackson.

LMP: Exactly.

lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 00:58:26

The star crossed love affair between Lisa Marie Presley & Michael Jackson started in 1993. What began as friendship bloomed very quickly into something more, and in 1994, Lisa Marie shocked the world when she married Michael Jackson. Just a year & ½ later, their marriage was over. They had not spoken for nearly a decade (SIC) when Michael was found dead on June 25th, 2009 in a rented home in Los Angeles.

***

OW: You’ve not spoken about Michael Jackson since his death, other than the blog that you did.

LMP: Right, and I really didn’t speak well when I see previous interviews; I’m barky & defensive and I tend to wanna skirt out of it, and I would find quick little exits defensively… out of it, so…

OW: Yeah, it’s interesting because, the very first interview that we did together when I asked you ‘was it a real relationship?’ you became a little… barky & defensive because…?

LMP: Because I didn’t understand my relationship with him.

OW: Well, you know, having gotten to know you, uh, since then, I understand your defensiveness coming from your point of view, but coming from my point of view –the viewer’s point of view- the, the world didn’t know what to make of that.

LMP: Right.

OW: And really still doesn’t know what to make of that. And therefore, your blog after his death where you said ‘I wanna set the record straight: this relationship was NOT a sham. This was a REAL marriage’, um, I think really struck a lot of people.

LMP: Mm hmm.

OW: And even when you said on my show, ‘Yes, this as a real marriage, it was a sexual relationship’, and all that—but the rest of the world I think, thought it was a big… staged.. uh, publicity ‘something’. I don’t know. Do you understand that now?

LMP: I completely understand. I get it. I understand that because to some degree he was a master at manipulating, a little bit, with the media, so I understand that… there was... nobody really knew who I was,--

OW: For sure—

LMP: So they just assumed that I was going along with something that he would be doing—

OW: Absolutely.

LMP: And a lot of that is what I wanted to clear up in an interview, in this interview, was to explain--

OW: Mm hmm.

LMP: He was brought up that way. You know, before I even start answering questions about him or start talking about him, it would need to be understood fully his life, which is completely different than anyone else’s life that ever was, except for, you know… my father.

OW: Mm hmm.

LMP: He was conditioned to... to sort of get himself where he needed to go for his career and with his talent, and he became very good at making and creating and puppeteering—

OW: Manipulating—

LMP: And manipulating! To some degree. Its true, but… but, see and I always confused that manipulation thinking that that manipulation was, that meant that he didn’t love me, you know? But I understand it better now. That manipulation was because it was a survival tactic for him.

OW: Mm hmm. So was it after his death that you have gained such clarity about the relationship?

LMP: Yes. And I don’t know why. I really don’t understand that. Um, but yes, this whole last year and ½ has been spent trying to gain the clarity because at some point, I pushed it away and I just had to move on with my life, and, and then that happened & it was like a tidal wave brought it all back.

OW: Where were you when you first heard? Where were you?

LMP: I was in England, um, and I don’t know why, but it was the strangest day of my life. I was crying all day.

OW: For what reason?

LMP: I don’t know, and I don’t normally do that. And I was, you know, trying to work, and I came home and I was literally cutting my food eating my dinner crying. And um, I wanted to go upstairs and go to bed and just watch something mindless on TV and stop crying. I looked at my husband, I was like, ‘I don’t know what is wrong with me, I just can’t stop!’ And um, and then an hour later the knock came and I, I heard.

OW: You heard. Who told you?

LMP: S- um, it was a friend of mine who-- actually, I started getting texts, ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Are you okay?!’ so, what’s happening? Um… actually John, Travolta was one of the first texts I got ‘Are you alright?’ And I said, what’s happening? Is this actually happening? It was still unclear, you know.

OW: And, and your reaction? Your first reaction.

LMP: Sh-- REAL honest to goodness shock. Not even tears, just, you know, I was FLOORED. Honestly floored.

lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 00:59:00

June 25th, 2009.
“Apparently Michael Jackson suffered cardiac arrest this afternoon. He was rushed to UCLA medical center”…
People around the world were glued to their televisions as events unfolded in Los Angeles. By late afternoon, it was clear.
“Michael Jackson, the legendary pop star known by millions of fans around the world, has died.”
A little over one year later, I’ve come to England to talk to Lisa Marie Presley about their relationship and his death.

***

OW: The next day after Michael’s death, you posted very emotional thoughts on your blog. What made you do that?

LMP: Um, I think I was just rocking a baby to sleep and I was just in floods of tears and I thought…. I don’t know, I had a moment of clarity, and realized all this bitterness I thought I had, and, you know, indifference... it was no longer. And it all just came… I don’t even; it’s been so crazy, Oprah, that I don’t even know how to explain how all of its happened, which is why I waited over a year to talk about it. Cause so many, it was so many phases of this—

OW: So let me help you through it here.

LMP: Yes, please.

OW: Let me read an excerpt of what you wrote the day after Michael died. You said, “The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy. All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.” Gutted. I thought that was an interesting choice of words; that means…. GUTTED. Empty. Dug out. Really?

LMP: Mm hmm.

OW: So, did you feel that you had failed to help him?

LMP: Yes.

OW: Okay. So in May of 1994 when you were married to him, or during the time you were married to him, did you suspect a drug problem?

LMP: Honestly, I didn’t really suspect & catch on until, um, just before I filed for divorce. You know there was just an occasion, an incident where he had collapsed, and he was in the hospital—

OW: This was during the HBO?

LMP: Mm hmm. This was an appearance—

OW: He was supposed to make, an appearance for HBO, yeah?

lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 01:01:06

In December 1995, Michael Jackson collapsed onstage while rehearsing for an HBO concert special in New York. His doctors said Michael was suffering from a viral infection. Lisa Marie flew to his side in the hospital where he stayed for six days.

***

LMP: Everybody flew to the hospital. And um, it was very confusing what was wrong. Cause everyday there was a different report and I couldn’t tell what was happening. Dehydration, low blood pressure, um, exhaustion, a virus… so I couldn’t really get a straight answer as to what was happening with him and I think we were all a little bit in the dark. And I, um… at that point I think I really, I got, from various, uh, indications; I believed that that was going on then.

OW: You thought that there was some drug use?

LMP: Yes, and, you know... there were times when I would pick him up from a certain doctor’s office and he would not be coherent. And, there was some behavior now looking back at it… and, and I knew that that was cause of injections ‘cause they were painful and he would need certain things because he, he needed to… so, that—

OW: He would need things for what? We, we’re not--?

LMP: Injections, or whatever various… dermatological… you know…

OW: Is this for his skin disease?

LMP: Skin, and various, uh… things he needed.

OW: Was it the kind of marriage where a lot of things went unsaid or unspoken, or did you feel a sense of intimacy and connection that you could ask him anything?

LMP: I am, I honestly can tell you that it was in every sense a normal marriage and everything was spoken, and, you know, if in the middle of the night he needed to wake up and tell me… and bounce something off me, and wake me up and wanna talk, and if there was trouble, I mean, it was great.

OW: Was he having trouble sleeping then?

LMP: Yes. He was like a little gnome. I used to tell him he was like a gnome running around the room. Cause it was hard for me to sleep; a lot of times I couldn’t sleep either if he wasn’t sleeping, so… he would be, I’d just hear him piddling, and it was… a bit endearing, but I didn’t mind it, and um, he, he did have a hard time sleeping, yes.

OW: Did you feel like you were, in many ways a nurturer/caretaker for him?

LMP: Very much. And I really loved that role. And I loved taking care of him. It was my… it was the highest point… of my life. One of the very highest points of my life was when things were going really well, and he & I were united, together, and he & I had an understanding about some of the people and things that could go on around him, um, and he was with me on those things, and we were a unit, and I could take care of him, and in spite of what some people speculated while I was with him, that I wanted a career or that I was trying to do something… it was absolute BS, I’ve NEVER been comfortable being front & center. Honestly? Don’t like attention on me—LOVED being next to him. And taking care of him. I was on such a high doing that, that I don’t, you know… that it was, it was a very profound time in my life, so, I, it wasn’t anything… it was real as far as that goes.

OW: I heard you said to the producers that being with him was some of the highest highs for you—

LMP: Mm hmm.

OW: As you just described, and also the lowest lows.

LMP: Yes.

OW: What was the lowest low?

LMP: The lowest was…. I… You know, again, when I talk about him I don’t… I, now, in retrospect wanna make very clear that I understand him now more than I ever did.

OW: Mm hmm.

LMP: So when I speak about him, I can speak about him, with… uh, understanding and, and... and its all GOOD now. For some reason, I don’t know what happens when someone passes away, and it… this is what’s become of it, but I’ve come to have… all this love again, and understanding for him. And I don’t know why it had to take all that to have this happen, it, that upsets me a bit, but, the low—

OW: Cause, were you angry with him? Before?

LMP: I was angry.

OW: You were angry with him when you left the marriage?

LMP: I was very angry. I was SO angry, because I felt that we had such… we were so united, and then at some point he, he, he pushed me out.

OW: Why did the marriage end?

LMP: Um, there was a very profound point in the marriage when he had to make a decision: was it the drugs and the… and the sort of, vampires, or me? And he pushed me away.

OW: Vampires?

LMP: Meaning people that are sort of… spiders? Vampires? Um…

OW: Sycophants. Sucking his blood.

LMP: Sycophants, mm hmm, yes.

OW: So you saw that all around him?

LMP: Oh, God, yes. Yes. And it was, and you know—

OW: Many people talk about that in stories written about him. He seemed to be drawn to people who would take advantage of him. What was that?

LMP: The one thing that correlates with, with Michael and with my father on this subject is that they had the luxury of creating whatever reality around them they wanted to create. They could have the kinds of people who were gonna go with their program or not go with their program, and if they weren’t then they could be disposed of. They didn’t--

OW: It’s the reality of being a God in your own world.

LMP: Right! And this is something that I’ve had—

OW: Experience with your father?

LMP: WAY too much experience with. On both sides. Where, I’ve seen what can go on and that… and that is, um …um…

OW: My way or the highway.

LMP: Right! Michael wasn’t a bad person because that’s how he functioned-- he didn’t know any better! It wasn’t that, you know; …I took it very personally, though. I felt I was disposable. You know? And it was the same with my father. Sometimes I’d sit & I’d think… there’ve been times when I’ve been angry at the people around him, ‘Why didn’t you stop him? Why didn’t you say something?’ Well, because if you DID you were OUT! It’s very simple. And he didn’t mean anything, either—

OW: So he wasn’t the kind of person, he wasn’t, nor your father was, the kind of person who wanted people around them telling them the truth; he wanted to be told what he wanted to hear.

LMP: When it’s this unusual reality and an ivory tower and this God-like life mixed with an addiction? That’s when you get into trouble. A lot of trouble.

***

August 16th, 1977. Nine year old Lisa Marie was home at Graceland when her father, Elvis, suddenly collapsed in his bathroom and died. There was a lethal mix of fourteen prescription drugs in his system.

***
OW: Are you struck between the parallel of your father’s life and Michael Jackson’s life? Your father and your former husband.

LMP: Yes. It, um… it really blows me away, to be honest with you. I still try to figure out why... what is it that I had to go through it twice? Where these two incredible people, and I speak, you know, with the utmost respect and love, cause, uh, I had that for both--

OW: Your father and Michael.

LMP: Yes. Who had the same fate. Um, what is it about me, why did I have to just… I went through it once. That was painful. And I went through it again, and I don’t quite understand it, you know?

***
OW: When we were hiking this summer, Lisa shared something with me that I think you all will find interesting.

This is the home in Los Angeles where Michael Jackson died. Across the street, just a stone’s throw away, was Elvis Presley’s California home where Lisa Marie spent a lot of time growing up.
***

lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 01:01:50

OW: What about the irony of THAT? Just across the street!

LMP: It’s… my mother, when I came home after being in England for so long, she, I, I wanted to drive by and see where it was, and I lived there up until after he died, she sold it, so, and I had, several birthdays there, and... um… I said, she said ‘It’s right across the street’. I said, ‘Oh PLEASE. It’s not right across the street. You’re being, you know, whatever’. And shooed her off. And I drove, and literally I was completely… *gasp* …you know, I don’t even know how to describe that. How that felt. Because I, and I don’t even know if he knew, that was just another thing where…Its, these things keep happening... in the universe and I’m like, okay. What is it that I, I’m TRYING to learn, here! What is it that I need to know?

OW: I thought it was interesting when you wrote the blog the day after Michael Jackson’s death, you titled the blog ‘He Knew’. What did he know?

LMP: When I was watching the footage of the ambulance backing out of the driveway… and I went back to this conversation that I had with him at Neverland in the library, we were sitting by the fire, and um, he was... telling me that he was afraid that he was gonna end up like, my father. You know, he was always asking me about when he died and how it happened and what had happened and where… um…

OW: Michael was always asking you about your father?

LMP: Yes. And he, he said ‘I feel like I’m gonna end up the same way’.

OW: And did you say ‘Why?!’

LMP: Yeah! I was like ‘What are you talking about?’ And I don’t understand, down to the play by play by play incident was identical.

OW: First of all, you were much younger then, But as you look back at your marriage to him and who you were in that marriage do you think there was a big part of you that didn’t want to see the truth?

LMP: The truth in, in what way?

OW: The truth about the drugs.

LMP: I was so naive then. But, I know it’s not easy to believe that, now, but…

OW: Well, it is easy to believe we can understand the state of mind you were in. Um, so first of all, you growing up as Elvis Presley’s daughter, uh, and being in your own right who you are, you wouldn’t be excited about being married to Michael Jackson. It’s not like some fan who ended up married to Michael Jackson. So, because you’re used to the fame life. So, you fell in love with him, because of…?

LMP: For him. Because he was an incredible, incredibly dynamic person. If you were in his vicinity and he wanted to give, and he gave, and he showed you who he was, if he was willing to do that, in any way? Man, I have never felt so high in my life. I have never felt so high in my life as that, and I am not lying when I say that. He had something so intoxicating about him, and when he was on, and when he was ready to share with you or give it to you, and be himself and allow you to come in, I don’t know if I’ve ever been that intoxicated by anything.

OW: I can, I can, I can hear what you’re saying. Because when I first interview—first met him before the interview, in 1992, uh, it’s like he shines his light upon you. He like, when he opens that, opens himself up and lets that light through, you just want to be in THAT.

LMP: Yes!

OW: You wanna be IN that, you wanna be around that, and you know… we were all at Neverland and eatin’ the candy, and havin’ a great time, and I left thinking ‘Gosh, I wish I could be his friend.’ You know?

LMP: Yeah! It was like a drug, he was like a drug for me. I felt like I just always wanted to be around him, I always wanted to be part of… I just, felt so high. I’ve never felt like that around another human being except for one. You know? Which was my father.

OW: So interesting, because... you just said it. You were nine years old when your father died. Never felt that feeling before, so in many ways, being with Michael brought back that feeling of that light falling on you, that being, you know, all of that energy coming your way.

LMP: Yes!

OW: Did you feel loved by Michael, in the beginning?

LMP: Very much so. I don’t think I realized it at the time, how much, what that meant… because I know that that was very unusual for him, I know he had a few dates in his life, but there was nothing, uh, profound for him in that, in that area, and, and he, he, he fell in love with me and I, and I fell in love with him and it was very real.

OW: How did he ask you to marry him?

LMP: Um, we were in the library. In front of the fire, and he, he pulled this giant, ten carat diamond out of his pocket and um… put it on my finger. I think he got on his knees as well, and proposed.

OW: And at the time he proposed did you think that it would be forever?

LMP: I did! I don’t, you know… I did. And when I was younger I can honestly say that um… you can think like that and, and believe that.

OW: You know, from the outside it just seems so… the, you know, two extraordinarily famous people together, everywhere you went seemed somewhat like a circus.

LMP: It was. It’s true. But you know what, that didn’t happen that often. We were together a lot and there was no cameras. And, uh, I think a lot of that was because the, the, the promo for HIStory started to come and then we had to appear here and do this and do that, and that was all very manipulated, which, which I understand comes across as very manipulated, period.

OW: Did you ever feel manipulated in the relationship?

LMP: Sometimes, but he knew I didn’t love that. And he was okay; he got it. I mean, he, he would, he needed, he needed to do his thing, I would be there uncomfortably, like the MTV thing, and I, his hand was BLUE after we got off that stage. I know, he showed me, and it was, you know, completely blue I squeezed it so hard! I did not wanna do that. You know, it was just; it’s not in my nature to do that sort of thing? So… but I understood it; as his wife, I had to, you know, I needed to do some things like that.

lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 01:02:56

Lisa Marie and Michael Jackson had been married for a year when he released the intimate music video for ‘You Are Not Alone’.
***

OW: So, was there a lot of pressure for you to have a baby?

LMP: Yes. Um, there was quite a bit, I mean, he was—

OW: From the time you got married?

LMP: Mm hmm. There was, and, and I did want to, I just kept, I just wanted to make sure, I was, I was looking into the future and I was thinking, I don’t ever want to get into a custody battle with him, I don’t wanna do this, I don’t wanna go head to head with him. So I need to make sure that everything around is good, I know, I’ve had, I had children, I knew bringing children into certain circumstances you have to make sure everything’s safe and secured and okay, and I wanted to make sure that he & I were really, really united, because we were gonna be up against so much.

OW: I’m not sure what month you all divorced, but you divorced, and several months later, I know by October, it was announced that Debbie Rowe was pregnant.

LMP: Mm hmm.

OW: How did you feel about that?

LMP: Well, I knew it was a bit of a retaliatory act, on his part. Because, um, I didn’t, you know, have… have a baby. And, um, and I know that she was there, the whole time, telling him she would do it. So…

OW: You knew that?

LMP: He would tell me! He would come tell me. ‘If you’re not gonna do it, Debbie said she’ll do it.’ And I was like, what is that? Hi, uh… not gonna entice me. Um… so we would get into it, you know, arguments, cause that really wasn’t how to handle it, but that’s how HE knew how to handle it. I don’t wanna say… you know, he, he, like I said, he would be like ‘Well if you’re not going to, this person will. Are you gonna do it or not?’, and—

OW: That’s what you mean by disposable.

LMP: Yes. That’s exactly what I mean.

OW: Oh, I get it.

LMP: Yeah.

OW: There are not many men who would say you either have a baby for me, or I got somebody standing in the wings who will.

LMP: Right, and it sounds, you know, its hindsight 20/20 and I understand him so well now. Um, but, at that time I couldn’t. I was hurt, I was hurt, and, you know, I did things that hurt him, you know, and I did stupid things too, and—

OW: Like?

LMP: Like… I was very... torn because I broke up my family, uh, um; I left my husband for Michael. And I was having a hard time trying to process that.

lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 01:03:51

***
Lisa Marie was twenty years old when she married her first husband, Danny Keough. Together they had two children, Riley and Ben. After more than five years together, Lisa Marie divorced Danny- twenty days later, she was married again, to Michael Jackson.

***

LMP: While I was with Michael I was still trying to process what I had done. I never could feel good about it. I, I felt like, how could I have done that to somebody and I have these two little ones? And, um, Danny was still very much part of my life. Michael didn’t quite know what to do with that sometimes, and that made him uncomfortable, and I understood that. Michael would wonder ‘Why are you in Hawaii with Danny?’ We’d take a vacation and Danny would go. And, Michael would get upset, and ‘Where are you?’ Then HE would disappear for a couple weeks and I couldn’t find him, or… you know, things would make him uncomfortable and when I would do things that would make Michael uncomfortable, if he got uncomfortable, or felt vulnerable he would ice you out. As a mechanism. He would push you away and ice you. It was like a shark sometimes in that way, he could just—that’s it. You know, you’ve done him wrong or whatever, so you were out. And, I did some… we had moments like that, and… but I have to say in retrospect that he, honestly tried so hard, and went through so much with me, and I know now, and I look back at… he’s never done that with any other female or anyone, as much as we went through? When we hit rough waters? And we would fi- we would argue, three day arguments sometimes. Taking a break to eat and sleep…

OW: Wow.

LMP: You know, I have to say, that I really admire that he really gave it a good shot. You know? I didn’t appreciate it then, and I wish I did.

OW: Did he have to die for you to recognize that he loved you?

LMP: *sigh* Um, I think, I think so, sadly.

OW: Is that the first time you recognized, or believed that he truly loved you? After he died?

LMP: Um, I think… Yes. Sweeping answer would be yes. When we were together we were really in love, and then we had the rough patches, and then I had to make a decision to walk because I saw that the drugs and the doctors were comin’ in and they scared me and put me right back into what I went through with my father, so I… that ended it and then… we… again were going to get back together, for… we still spent four more years after we divorced--

OW: Really?

LMP: --getting back together and breaking up, and talking about getting back together, and breaking up, and…and at some point, I had to push it away. Cause it was just not, it just, I wasn’t moving forward with myself.

OW: So you still loved him even when you left him.

LMP: Very much. I… left him to put my foot, to sort of stomp my foot into the ground. I was trying to take a stand and say, come WITH me, don’t DO this… And it was a stupid move. Cause he didn’t. And, he was just… you know he’s a stubborn… I’m stubborn, he’s stubborn, the two of us, it was like… you know…

OW: Don’t make a dare you’re not willing to follow through on.

LMP: Right. So, I, I made a stupid move. And, and I actually, afterwards, you know, he and I were still… you know, I, I, I was… flying all over the world still with him, uh, for years to follow.

OW: When was the last time you spoke to him?

LMP: A coherently good conversation was in 2005. Um, it was a very long conversation. And I was so removed from him, and he could feel it and he could hear it. And I think that’s one of the things that killed me in the end, too, that I was very, um, distanced, and he was checking, to get a read, you know, he was trying to throw a line out and see if I would bite emotionally and I wouldn’t. I was pretty shut off at that point. And I don’t even know how I managed to be like that, but I was. And he was asking me, he wanted to tell me… that he, uh… that I was right about a lot of the people around him, and that it had panned out to be exactly what he and I had talked about, years ago. And, he asked if I still loved him. And we went into a whole thing about that and I told him I was indifferent and he didn’t like that word. And he cried, and he was just trying to find out where I was at and how I could become so detached. And then, the final part of the conversation was him, uh, telling me that he felt, um, that someone was gonna try and kill him. To get a hold of his catalog and his, his estate. And I really didn’t know what to do with that.

OW: So he actually gave you names?

LMP: He did. And I don’t, I would like not to say them, but he, he expressed to me his concern over, his, uh… his life.

OW: You know, I asked you this, the… and you know, I have to ask you again even though its an uncomfortable subject, but when you were on the show the first time I think I asked you this: whether you had ever seen any inappropriate behavior between Michael Jackson and young children.

LMP: Mm hmm. Are you asking me again?

OW: I’m asking you again.

LMP: The answer is absolutely, uh, not. In any way. I did NOT see anything like that.

OW: So by 2005 I think, when he was on trial for the second charge. Your feelings at that time were what? Did he ever talk to you about it?

LMP: He was calling me about it and I said, ‘Please keep your head together, please. If this goes to trial, please hold it together’ and he said ‘What are you talking about, what do you mean?’ and I said, he said ‘You mean drugs,’ and I said ‘YES.’ Because all I saw, you know, there was a few year period there where he was, random things were coming out whether it was the Martin Bashir interview, or various interviews, and in those interviews, I saw him, intoxicated. I didn’t see Michael that I knew. In that Martin Bashir interview, I, he was high as a kite. From what I saw. And from what I knew.

OW: Really?

LMP: He was either too speedy or he was sedated. It wasn’t the Michael that I knew.

OW: The shocking things—he said some pretty shocking things in that Martin Bashir interview. Particularly about how he felt it was okay to sleep with young children.

LMP: I think he said that stuff sometimes to be defiant. Cause he got so angry at that at at having been accu—I think that sometimes he was, such a little stubborn rebel sometimes and he was like a childand he would just say what he felteveryone didn’t want him to say.

OW: Mm hmm.

LMP: I don’t feel like he was, had a straight head, uh, during those things, and I think that they were edited in a very very manipulative, nasty way.

OW: So. You never saw anything, and to this day you don’t believe that any of those charges were true?

LMP: No. I mean, I can, I honestly can not say; the only people that are ever gonna be able to honestly say the truth are him and whoever was in the room at the time of whatever allegedly took place. I was never in that room, it would be unfair, for me to… I can tell you, I NEVER saw anything like that.

OW: Have you now made peace with his death? I know you watched the funeral that we all saw on television, and, and I know that you went to the private funeral ceremony. What was that like? Standing in the room with his casket?

LMP: Mmmmmm….. That was… um, really… another six months of more to recover from. I think. But, you know, I was, the last one standing with him. Um, and, that was, you know—

OW: What do you mean ‘last one standing’?

LMP: Well, most people had left, and I went back in and I was alone with him. Standing over him. You know, I, I didn’t wanna leave him. So…

OW: As you stood over his casket, uh, I know its, you know, there’s probably nothing more, um, you know, personal or private, um, than those, those moments. As you stood over that casket were you able to make peace?

LMP: Mmm…. No. I don’t think I could make peace then, I think that I more apo- I wanted to apologize, I more was like… I felt like I wanted to apologize.

OW: For?

LMP: Not being around. …You know?

OW: Do you think you could have saved him?

LMP: God. That’s such a hard question. Um, naively I wanna say… I know that its naïve to think that I could’ve, but I wanted to. Could I have? Had I made a call, had I stopped being so tur- shut off from him, had I just said ‘How are you? Can I,’ …Tried to make a phone call, you know, I… really did regret that I didn’t.

OW: Do you think that family and friends let him down? Do you think that somebody could have done something?

LMP: I think that they tried. And I, and I, and, sadly… um, like I said, if he didn’t want you around, if you were gonna make him confront something he didn’t wanna confront, he could make you go away, including his own family.

OW: Mmm.

LMP: They got on the opposite side of that. I think that was a train headed in a certain direction that, I don’t know if anyone could’ve stopped. And I, and I’ve had to really get my head around that in order to stop the, the pain.

OW: For yourself?

LMP: Mm hmm.

lalala · 发表于 2010-10-24 01:05:21

OW: And how is this for your current husband? Who seems like a really loving, generous, supportive man… how is it for him? With all this Michael stuff comin’ up?

LMP: He’s so happy I’ll be done with this interview. He’s just like, ‘I want you to just exorcise this and get it out,’ cause, I’ve been… you know, he’s had to hear it for so long. He’s—

OW: Never good for the current husband to have to hear about the ex-husband a lot.

LMP: No, its not. Its not! And I understand that, but he also understands, he’s the most understanding person I’ve ever met in my life, and I, I’ve never, you know, I thank God, cause he’s really allowed me to go through whatever I need to go through with this. Which I know would be highly unusual and it’s a lot to ask for of him.

OW: Mm hmm.

LMP: And I don’t feel good about it, but its something that came to a, came down on me that I’ve had to, had to deal with, and I’ve been doing it—

OW: Cause all these Michael feelings were repressed and buried when you started dating Michael Lockwood.

LMP: Exactly.

OW: You said earlier that the universe, God, you don’t understand, is trying to teach you something, obviously, because you don’t understand the parallels between your father’s life, Elvis Presley, and Michael Jackson’s life. Now with over a year after Michael’s death, and 33 years since your father passed, what do you think the lesson is, for you?

LMP: I… I feel really alone in that I’ve gone through this with these incredible people like this. And I feel really honored at the same time.

OW: And, with Michael’s death, is it for you like, a lot of people still, his birthday… the anniversary of his death… all of those are still hard days?

LMP: They are, but it’s been happening all my life. August 16th I’ve dreaded my whole life. Which has been, you know…

OW: The death of your father.

LMP: Right. And now, you know, its June 25th. So, um—

OW: You’ve said that you, when we talked about doing this interview, you said ‘I’m gonna do it one time.’

LMP: Yes.

OW: Mm hmm. So this is it, you’re not gonna talk about it anymore?

LMP: No. I’m not. I’m not going to talk about it anymore. If anyone wants to know in the future, they can refer to The Oprah Winfrey Show.

OW: Thank you. Thanks for letting me have the time, really.

LMP: Thank you.

OW: And for opening up about it. Not an easy thing to do. Thank you.