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发表于 2009-10-11 17:52:12
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本帖最后由 nicknicknick 于 2009-10-13 13:49 编辑
第39节: Knowing Ryan White and Other Chilren Battling Cancer 电子书第340页-345页
了解Ryan White和其他跟癌症搏斗的孩子们
Knowing Ryan White and Other Children Battling Cancer
Shmuley Boteach: 你曾亲近过一个通过输血得艾滋病的小男孩吗?Wasn’t there was a young boy you were very close to who got AIDS from a blood transfusion?
Michael Jackson: Ryan White,我最难受的是……我想知道而又不能体会死去的孩子的感受。我真的体会不了。我想那大概是当小孩即将死去,甚至患病的时候,应该有个死亡前的感应,但不是死期的感应。我曾听Ryan White说,12岁的小孩,在我的Neverland饭厅桌子前跟他妈妈讨论如何安葬他。他说:“妈妈,我下葬时候,我不想穿西装打领带。我要穿OshKosh 牛仔裤和T-shirt”。我跟着就说:“我要上一趟洗手间”。 然后我飞奔到洗手间痛哭。 听着这个小男孩跟他妈妈商量如何安葬他,这真够我受的。 我单独的跟他呆在这个房子里, 他就躺在那儿, 当时我很难过, 真想让他活下来,然后我吻他和说我爱他,这些都是在他活着时候我曾做过的。他曾住在这里,我照顾着他。但想起他躺在那里……我曾跟他说:“Ryan, 我向你保证, 我的下张专辑我会专门为你做点什么。 我会为你作一首歌,而且我会亲自演唱。 我想要全世界都认识你。” 然后我写了 Gone Too Soon 。 那是为他而写的歌。 Ryan White. The hardest for me is…I am going to answer but I don’t understand when a child dies. I really don’t. I think there should be a window where there is a chance of dying but not in this window of time. When a child dies, or if the child is sick, I really don’t understand it. But I listen to Ryan White, twelve years old, at my dining room table at Neverland telling his mother how to bury him. He said, “Mom when I die, don’t put me in a suit and tie. I don’t want to be in a suit and tie. Put me in OshKosh jeans and a T-shirt.” I said, “I have to use the bathroom,” and I ran to the bathroom and I cried my eyes out. Hearing this little boy telling his mother how to bury him. That hurt me. It was as if he was prepared for it and when he died he was in OshKosh jeans and a T-shirt and a watch that I gave him. And I am sitting alone in this room with him and he is lying there and I felt so bad I just wanted to hold him and kiss him and say that I love him, which I did all those things when he was alive. I took care of him and he stayed at my house. But to see him just lying there…I spoke to him and I said, “Ryan, I promised you that I would do something in your honor on my next album. I will create a song for you. I will sing it. I want the world to know who you are.” I did Gone Too Soon. That was for him.
SB: 你觉得他听得到你跟他说的话吗?你觉得你能接触到那些你爱着的或者离去的人的灵魂吗? 你仍觉得跟他们靠得很近吗?Don you think he heard you when you said that? Do you feel in touch with the soul of some of the people you love and have lost? Do you still feel close to them?
MJ: 是的,是的,是的。Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SB: 所以你不得不面对他的死亡,和其他你曾亲近的人?So you had to deal with his death and other people who you were close to?
MJ: 那非常非常伤我的心。 另一个男孩来找我, 他像雪一样的白, 简直是白得像雪或者一张白纸。他得了癌症,并快要死了。 他很喜欢我, 他来到我的卧室, 看见我穿过的那些夹克和我的录像, 他穿上那些夹克, 他开心得像在天堂一样。 他们告诉我他不想活下去了。 或许他有离开的那天,我跟他说,“你瞧, 我正在要到你家去呢”。 我想他家应该在堪萨斯城。 “我打算一些日子后开巡演开到你家去。 我想你到时候能来看我的演出, 我要把这个夹克送给你。” 他说:“你要把它送给我?” 我说:“是呀。 而且我想你在看演出时穿着它。” 我想让他挺住, 我说:“当你来看演出的时候, 我想看到你穿上这件夹克和这个手套”, 我给了他一只水晶手套,以前我从来没给过别人。 他像在天堂一样开心。 当我真的去到他家的时候, 他走了, 人们将手套和夹克一同与他下葬。 他才10岁。 天知道, 我相信他是尽力挺住的了。That hurt me so much. One other boy came to me and he was as white as snow, literally as white as snow or a white piece of paper. He was dying of cancer and he just loved me and he came in my bedroom and he saw the jackets I wore and the videos and he put them on and he was in heaven. They told me that he wasn’t going to live. That any day he could just go and I said, “Look, I am going to be coming to your town..” I think he was in Kansas City. “I am going to open my tour in Kansas City in there months. I want you to come to the show. I am going to give you this jacket.” He said “You are gonna’ give to it to me?” I said, “Yeah. But I want you to wear it to the show.” I was trying to make him hold on. I said, “When you come to the show I want to see you in this jacket and in this glove,” and I gave him one of my rhinestone gloves, and I never give the rhinestone gloves away. He was in heaven. When I came to the town he was dead and they buried him in the glove and the jacket. He was 10 years old. God knows, I know that he tried his best to hold on.
SB: 发生了这些事情,你会对上帝生气吗?Do you feel angry at God for things like that happening?
MJ: 不会。 我只是没体会到他们的感受。 我希望我们能更多的了解另一个世界。 我知道是有轮回和天堂的。 但是为什么无论如何在穿越白光之前都要受病痛折磨,为什么都要承受痛苦呢? 无论如何那应该是最美好的体会吧。 No. I just don’t understand them. I wish we knew more about the other side. I know it promises everlasting life and being in heaven. But why suffering and why pain before crossing over to the white light, whatever it is? It should just be the most beautiful experience, whatever it is.
MJ: (男孩子的故事)是一个真实的故事。 我希望你能看见他的脸, Shmuley, 我真希望你能见证这故事。(The story about the boy) was a true story. I wish you could’ve seen his face, Shmuley, I wish you could’ve seen it.
SB: 你是说那个承诺的故事,对吗? 你跟他说“如果你活下来,我答应……”对吗? And that was a promise story, right? You said to him “I promise if you stay alive…” Right?
MJ: 是的, 我真想让他挺住。 他们说他快死了, 我说“我知道我能为他做点什么。” 你明白不? 我想让他向前看, 挺住,我说“穿着这件来看演唱会”,他很开心。 但是当我赶到那儿的时候,他死了。 我痛心,我痛心。Yeah, I was trying to get him to hold on. They said he was gonna die and I said, “I know I can do something about this.” You know? And I was trying to get him look forward, to hold on and I said “Wear this to the show” and he was so happy. When I got to the town, he was dead. Killed me, killed me.
SB: 你有什么感觉的, 就跟我说点儿你的感受吧。 你有什么感受,当在你身边的时候(一个我跟Michael Jackson都认识的癌症女孩)How do you feel, describe the felling to me for just a minute. How do you feel when you’re around (a little girl with cancer whom Michael and I knew)?
MJ: 我爱她。I love her.
SB: 你应该知道你跟他们有点不一样, 当在你身边的时候, 你几乎能赶走他们的部分病痛。你知道古时候的拉比(犹太人的学者)吧, 他们说你每访问一些病人,你能带走他们1/60的疾病。但是你呢, 几乎拿走了50%的疾病, 你知道吗? 我相信你知道的。 You know that you could make a difference with them and you know that just being around you, part of their illness almost goes away. You know the ancient Rabbis said that every time you visit someone sick you take away 1/60th of their illness. But with you, it’s almost like you take away fifty percent of their illness, you know? I know you know that.
MJ: 是的,是的,我爱让人们……我不想看到人们遭受伤害,特别是孩子。Yeah, yeah. I love making people…I don’t like to see anybody hurt of suffer, especially children.
SB: 你知道你有给人疗伤的能量吗? 或者是名人效应?换句话来说, 作为一个伟大的名人, 你向小孩表达关怀, 他们真的感觉很好。 他们知道你是多么的有名, 他们可能说“哇, 这么有名的人居然关心我, 我一定很特别了。” 但这个已经超越名气? 是有些能量在你身上吗?Do you feel that you have healing power that was given to you? Or is it because of the celebrity? In other word, being a great celebrity, when you show a child attention, they feel really good. They know how famous you are, they feel like “Wow, someone that famous cares about me, I must be special.” But is it beyond celebrity? Is it something in you that way.
SB: You had this before, when you were Michael Jackson the boy?
MJ: 是的。 Yes. |
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